Sooner Than Later

My heart has been breaking a little bit more every day since you left me. The way you left has imprinted a black mark on my heart.

You want to get back together. I tried. I’ve been trying. Because damn it, despite everything I still love you. I do. And yes, if I choose you again we could maybe be happy and do this. But something in my gut tells me this is over now.

It brings tears to my eyes because this isn’t how I imagined our story ending. But how naive can I be? How blind can I remain? When you broke my heart, my eyes were opened. And I’m seeing things I didn’t see before.

I see flags I never saw before.

I’m holding on to a small hope that maybe, just maybe, all the words you said to me were a lie. I find myself hoping the image I saw when I walked into your apartment unannounced wasn’t true. I wish it was a nightmare I have yet to wake up from. If it is, please shake me! Please yell my name. Please rescue me. Now.

But it was all true. It wasn’t an allusion or a nightmare.

The image of a future with you has become foggy like the mirrors in the bathroom  after a hot shower. I can scarcely make out your reflection.

I don’t recognize you anymore my love.

I wish you didn’t do these things. But if it was going to happen, I’m glad it was sooner than later.

 

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